First Day Of 2018 And I Need To Diet

I had that dream again after so long...
The one that scenes out of me chasing from one lover after another. Only difference is, this time i wake up with something real next to me. So blessed that be.

Meanwhile, its been gloomy the whole 1st day of January 2018. Now in the evening as I write this down, light rain sets upon the city and nothing is better than to laze on my couch, (finally) watching Jane The Virgin, and stuffing my face with garlic bread, bananas, and cereal... don't judge.

That bliss died out quickly though as the first advise i recieved this year is... "You have to diet".
Ouch?? Yeahhhhhh. But truth? Yes too. Oh well.
So i guess it's time to step up to the game and lose some pounds. Plus, looking at my photo is a wake-up call on it's own.

Meanwhile, I wish you the very best this year and hope you're having a beautiful new year too.

Xx

An unpredictable 2017

2017 has been a real rollercoaster ride.
From nothingness, to finally releasing my first single and be given the opportunity to pursue what I really love... MUSIC!

Of course at times I get frustrated when I feel like my journey just halted and I'm lost in stalemate. But then i remembered again of how it FEELS like time is flying but in reality, this ride is just taking off.

I literally joined the music industry in the early stage of 2017...yes, this year itself! With the release of Pulau Hijau on March, I've had my share of thrills and scares. It was fun and im hoping there's more to come!
How can I ask for more when Im still the underdog (or fresh meat) of the Malaysian music industry?
After all, as unpopular I am in the music scene still...who'd knew I'd have my song playing onboard 2 major airlines in the country? Right?

But thinking back of all I've managed to still do without the backing or sponsors of major music labels, I think I'm... goooooood 😎

Thank you for all the blessings bestowed upon me in 2017 and to all my friends, family, ummm...fans (?), I thank you for all the love shown towards me and I hope you will continue to shower me with support 😘

In return, I hope i am able to provide more in return for 2018.

CHEERS TO DREAMING AND CHASING THEM 🌟

of LOVE and LUST

The big question. Are we in love? Or do we just devour ourselves in LUST, to the point we can't tell one apart?
There's been many, and I mean many occasions when I've convinced myself that I am in love with another person just because they (and I remind you...many occasions) are the vision -physically- of a beautiful couple portrait.
So one day, I asked myself, do I love them? Or am I in love with that fantasy picture I drew in my own foolish mind?
And the reply I had FOR MYSELF indeed put me to place. A realistic one. I was never in love with them, I was just in love with myself. 'Myself' in a way I envisioned it to be...with them. More like a mirror of false hope, reflecting nothing more than pure fantasy.

It's funny, because they say to talk to ourselves is the first sign of madness. If it's anything I can prove, it indeed gave me the peace I needed with myself. But just out of curiosity, what is being...sane?
People call me crazy numerous times. Friends, families, acquaintances, beck..even strangers. But in my defense, I have YET met someone who is "sane".
Perhaps being "less crazy" is just a way mad people use to describe themselves when they've run out of steam for their own passion and energy in...(wait for it)...LIFE. To live.

Ok, I'm running far off the topic here. Back to the golden question, is it love? Or lust?
Ask yourself this the next time you 'think' you feel butterflies in your tummy. Is she/he really the person you want to wake up to every morning? To care for when they're at their weakest?
If they reveal a darker side of themself, would you be able to compromise?
That, my dear readers, is a trick question.
Someone recently showed me a clip of the late Ertha Kit explaining her point of view for what love is about. When the interviewer asked her of she would be willing to compromise with her partner, she laughed. Loudly. Saying "what is there to compromise?? A relationship needs to be earned!"
A wise lady she was. Couldn't have said it better myself.
We should stop expecting (period). Let's start enjoying the company of the other person with us. Let our feelings grow...naturally...slowly. And perhaps then, will we understand what love is about.

And remember, if you ever find yourself on a an uncertain path of love vs lust, just take your time and read your map carefully.

After all... That's Life 😉

Books: I AM MUSLIM.

Dont judge a book by its cover now!
I AM MUSLIM is the first book i've actually read (and finished it!) in 2 days!!! its a record!
yeeeeaaahhhhh....

Written by Dina Zaman, I AM MUSLIM is not another self-help book on religion or some sort. But instead, It is the way the author herself sees Islam in her point of view through experiance.
Dina Zaman writes with honesty and realism. Also keeping her literal side on her Malay roots! Yes, this is the book written by a Malaysian for Malaysian.
Ok, maybe thats not entirely true but thats what i feel anyway.

In this book, i've learned the different ways Islam is practiced around the world. And my favourite part of the whole book is that it constantly points out our hypocrisy ways the Malays practices Islam and and the way our government seems to take things a bit too far at times. Which is all true and un-debateable!

A big slap on our faces in deed. But thats only because it is TRUE, hands down.

But apart from face slapping, I AM MUSLIM also points out the true beauty of Islam and its ways. Readers will find themselves learning and understanding the basic principles of the religion along the way.
And all of this is done through story telling.
I remind you, this isn't a self-help book!

The book is non-muslim friendly and therefor, everyone can read and enjoy it.
So i would recommend everyone reading my blog to go get a copy whenever you can and see if you can beat my record! hahahaha.

ENJoY ;)




( Author: Dina Zaman )

Love sick...or Sick of love?

(sorry that all i ever talk about is LOVE. But thats what been playing a HUGE role in everyone's life)

Here i am sitting in my room, listening to songs i used to listen 4 years back.
I remember myself well...obese, naive, playful, in love but oh so clueless.
Yes, clueless of what the future has to offer me....a whole lotta BULLSHIT!

So my story dates back in high school. I had a crush, or can i say crushes, none of it worked out. This was most likely due to my two enemies...One called Tripple chin, the other simply Mr Tummy. Yes yes, i did mentioned i was obese!

Back then, i thought BEING in love is exactly like how we see it in the movies. A picture perfect vision.
So i was trying hard to be in love. I've already fallen in love too many times, but i never manage to successfully had an official partner. Meanwhile, everyone else around me was going through their high school love story..or as what we would call it, 'puppy love' moments.
Deep down i was envious, jealous and upset with those lovebirds but yet inside, im just waiting or MY moments.

(4 years later, now i know that those moments was only for me to witness through someone else).

My biggest crush was a certain someone in my class. ~Kind, gentle, smart, and honest~These were the qualities i was attracted to. Physically, there was nothing great to even look at.
'The heart was what matters'.
But a year passed and before we knew it, school was over and college parted us both. But we still kept in contact although now we're basically in strangersville.
But we never had those intimate moments, nor did we had a mutual interest. It was ALL me.

College gave me the idea that i might have a new start...or a beginning at all, to be exact!
But tsk tsk Atif, how wrong were you.
I went through the repeated dance of my failing love story.
But thats ok! Love is beautiful, pure, honest and graceful. And somewhere out there, i'll find THE ONE :)
LOL!!!!!

I kept my head held high~
I kept my hope strong at heart~
I held my faith strongly in love's hand~
I stayed on the look out for my 'Moment'.

It never came.....

2 years back, i had my first official love. Oh i was on cloud 9!
Happy as could be, i was relieved and impress at myself that i finally had someone to call my OWN!
YAY.
Shortly after, REALITY hit me in the face!
And things ended only after 2 months.
I went throught the same progress repeatedly for the next 2 years with many many (practically countless) others.
Untill now, finally, i've open my eyes and bare witness on how the world actually works.

Love isn't a fairytale nor is LIFE.
Well, not mine atleast.

These days, "I Love You"s no longer sweep me off my feet.
It no longer thrills me of the fact that love has 'found' me. And i dont believe in it either. unfortunately, Cupid has lost its power on me and all arrows are now broken.

Some might say im just 'frightened' of love, others may say im just heartless. Which is it?
maybe its a little bit of both. Besides, why do we always need to choose between one another?

Love has lost its quality to me. And maybe i spoke to soon. Maybe my time has yet to come..after all, im only 21.
But for the moment, i'll stick to what i know and learned from that funny cruel four letter word....

L.O.V.E

Yours truly,
Bitterheart.

Blackberry me!

hehehe...on my life>
i've upgraded myself to a BB.
Thanks to my aunty Dolly!
She's got me a blackberry bold 9700 and im proud of it.
so to all my friends, add me up on your bbm please! :D

She's outta love!

oh no!
Anastacia the singer nicknamed, 'the little lady with the big voice," has filed for divorce from her husband, Wayne Newton, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting. Newton, not to be confused with the popular Vegas singer of the same name, was Anastacia's bodyguard before the couple married in April 2007 in Mexico. The couple have no children. Anastacia cites irreconcilable differences, and according to the documents, the couple did have a pre-nup.

Guess Wayne wont be too happy when her song 'im outta love' is played on the radio anymore....
Fingers crossed that Anastacia will find someone better ni her life.
xoxo

Life is full of mystery and meanings...Religion and sins

I just got back from a long karaoke session at Imbi with my friends and then we headed for dinner and had a lepaking session at some padang at Tmn Tun and there, i heard the most beautiful and meaningful discussion of life and religion from a FREINDS POINT OF VIEW (note that).

At first we were just recalling the times that we had in the past and then we moved on to astronomy, horoscopes and how the moon landing is a hoax but other life forms exists out there...slowly religion and life came into the topic.

My friend, Aaron,a Christian who have a basic understanding of Islam (he reads both the bible and the Koran) belives that both Christianity and Islam are very similiar and beautiful , then he talks about how people nowadays have a very hypocrisis way of thinking (something i have long agreed on). Its true that what you do on earth in the end is between you and God. No one but God himself has the right to pick your fate in the afterlife. "everything you do is a sin" is what Aaron told us. Which is true! Sins comes from a long range of wrong doings be it small or big but the common view of what the present day community is seeing today is that sin..is being gay (full stop).

What ever happened to the simple sins of backstabbing, gossiping, lying, cursing, and just hurting other people's feeling?..have they been erased in the holy books? or is it no longer a wrongful doing just because this is what straight and religious people do as well?
It seems like the rules of deeds and sins have changed on a very biased platform.
its simple..your gay, you'll go to hell. Your straight, you'll go to heaven.
Sure it is written in both the Koran and bible that being gay is a sin but that doesn't mean all gay people are guaranteed a place in hell!
If a prostitute who has never once prayed was given a place in heaven just becuz she sacrificed a bowl of water to a dog (a story told in both holy books as well), then who are we to point out one's fate in the next life?? I agree with him when he said that the biggest sin (in his point of view) is to intentionally hurt someone else's feelings.
These are just the few things we talked about religion...God is great and everthing that happens, happened for a reason..some we know, others are kept hidden from our knowledge as part of life's mystery.

Then soon its time for us to head home and on the way, Lina taught me that life travels on with God's guidance and teachings. Lately i've been living everyday of my life with the thought that things happens blindly and life is just a story that you yourself create without the help from 'the big man' up there. Dont get me wrong,i belive in God but i've never really acknowledged his presents till now. God speaks to us everyday, giving us the signs on which path to take, but its up to us to listen to Him or just ignore Him completely and do things blindly. A miracle isn't about having supernatural powers or seeing writings in the clouds..a miracle happens everyday in different ways. Sometimes a miracle happens so often that it is easy for us to say "its coincidence". sad.....

Life is beautiful and it revolves around one's self and God. And with the lessons i've learned from my good friends in just one day, i promised to remind myself that everything happens for a reason and God is great...


~thats life~
;)